This is the complete text of the second episode of the Living a Dream: A Transformational Journey podcast series.
Our Self, Our Gifts
Welcome to the second episode of the Living a Dream: A Transformational Journey podcast. My name is Jo Calk. I am a Life Awareness Coach, Reiki Master, author, and speaker. Today’s episode is “Our Self, Our Gifts”
As a Life Awareness Coach, I help people understand the Transformational Journey that each of us is on. The initial part of that Journey involves becoming aware of who we are and to remember why we are here on this Earth, at this place, at this time. First, a bit about what we’re not:
- We’re not here by accident
- We are not alone
Now, to who we are and why we’re here:
- We chose to be here at this time to contribute to the transformational experience of the shift in the Group Consciousness
- We each have our unique gifts, talents, skills, experiences, interests, and desires
- We each came here to share our unique perspective with others for the enlightenment of all
- We are each unique but all equal
- We each have our own path on this Transformational Journey
- We each have our specific goals and dreams
- We each have free will
- We always have choices
This podcast lays out a series of steps, a path, I used to become aware of our Reality and our important part in enhancing our world.
My Ultimate Goal for my Life Awareness Coaching and my Reiki practice is simple, strategic, straightforward, and sincere:
My Ultimate Goal is the global enlightenment and peace of our Earth, our physical reality, through the awakening, awareness, and action of all its people to our roles in transforming our beliefs toward the Earth’s physical healing.
I am not alone in having this Goal of “Peace on Earth” and cooperation, caring, and sharing by all people. However, my approach is a bit different: I am enlightening the Earth from within.
We discovered what it takes to be happy: it is a change in our choices based on a change in how we feel about our self and our beliefs.
Your past is NOT a predictor of your future, unless you want it to be. Right now, at this moment, you are creating your future. Will it consist of the same days you have been living for the past decade? It doesn’t have to, if you are willing to change your thinking and some of your beliefs.
Remember, you get what you focus on. If you focus on the same things every day, you get the same day every day.
We have trained ourselves to constantly think negatively, so we now have the opportunity to choose to think positively. Let’s turn “self-fulfilling prophecy” into a wonderful outcome, a descriptive term for the way we are joyously living our lives every day.
“You Must Be the Change You Want to See in the World.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Tonight’s topic is “Our Self, Our Gifts.” As promised last week, I will discuss how to change our self-fulfilling prophecies from unwanted outcomes to outcomes that we like, enjoy, and appreciate. We are also going to be introduced to the source of our happiness and joy.
Let’s start, shall we?
How would you describe your self? Not “yourself” as in tall/short, identify as male/female, but your inner self. Our attitudes, attributes, and feelings about our self usually start with “self”. Are you self-assured? Self-confident? Self-aware? Do you have self-love? Self-esteem? Self-worth? Self-reliance? Do you show your self Self-care? Self-respect? Do you think it wrong or boastful to be Self-centered? Self-absorbed? Self-ish?
How you feel about your self has everything to do with how you act, treat your self, and treat others. Do you steer so far away from being self-centered that you have lost your self by only caring for others, and never caring for your self? Do you punish your self over actions you may have taken in the past? Do you continue to abuse your self by repeatedly replaying past abuses and traumas? Do you love your self? Do you even like your self? Do you think your self is worthy of being loved?
So many of the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you have about your self have been placed there by others. You are merely parroting what you were told by your parents, teachers, and others who had influence over you at a very young age, when you were first developing your sense of self; when you were starting to recognize your self as being separate from everything and everyone else. What kind of self-talk do you repeat? Do you put your self down? Do you question your self’s value? Are you hard on your self? Are you much nicer to other people than you are to your self?
It usually helps to think deeply about your self-talk, those tapes you have going through your mind at all hours of the day and night. Journal about your self-talk and whether you believe any of the self-talk tapes you have running in an endless loop in your mind. Write about any patterns of negative self-talk you repeat – for example, calling your self “stupid,” “dumb,” “clumsy,” saying “I never get anything right,” or any number of other put-downs, criticisms, or just plain nasty things you say to your self. After you have written about what you think about your self, write down whether you also think the same thoughts about others. Do you call a friend “stupid”? Would you call your child “dumb”? Would you tell your co-worker that she/he was “clumsy”? Why or why not? If you don’t say negative things to others that you say to your self, write down why you do this. Did you create this nasty self-talk about your self? Or did someone else call you that, and you internalized it until it became your mantra – and your self-fulfilling prophecy? Who are they to tell you what you are? A common phrase I hear now is “You’re not the boss of me!”
OK, we have spent a lot of time on our current thinking of our self – because it is so important to remove the negative self-talk from our tapes and replace them with positive, self-affirming thoughts that feel better inside. Write down different, positive statements that you can repeat to your self. Can you do that? Can you say – and truly mean – something nice about your self? Can you take pride in your self? Can you be happy with your self?
I sincerely hope you can be happy with your self, because wherever you go, you take your self with you.
Perhaps you are thinking: “How do I give my self Self-respect, Self-worth, and Self-esteem if I never received any of that from my parents?” That is a great question – and, fortunately, there is a great answer: All of us were born filled with Self-love, Self-worth, Self-esteem, Self-respect, and all the other positive “self” attributes. We were all also born filed with Love and Joy.
Suppose I told you that you have, within you, everything you need to be happy and to live a life of joy. Is that a bit hard to chew? Is that too difficult to accept?
Challenge your self to consider that much of what you and your self have been told were wrong. That the negative words your parents used to describe you, which you continue to use to describe your self, were actually the negativity your parents felt and believed about their own selves. You (and your parents) still have the Love, Joy, and all the positive “self” attributes you were given – although the gifts may be buried under years of crap heaped on them, causing you to believe you never had them in the first place. Look deep within your self – all your gifts still remain, shining, awaiting your rediscovery of them.
Think, and write, about how it would feel to find those gifts. To find that the Love you have been seeking from others has always existed within your self. Realize that the Joy that brightens every moment of your life is safe within your self. One-by-one replace each of the negative “self” attributes with the positive “self” attributes you had not discovered for years. What does self-worth feel like to you? What would it mean to you to have self-respect? How would your life change if you had self-love instead of self-loathing? The gifts are all there within your self. Take a moment to reflect on the beauty and positive, life-enhancing changes as you rediscover each gift and apply it to your self. You will recognize the gifts among the mountain of negativity, because each gift still shines with the Light they were given you at birth.
What does it feel like to have a shiny, new, positive set of self attributes? Can you visualize your self, beaming from the Light within? Believe and know that you have found your birthright, which had been temporarily buried, but now shines brightly, providing a warm glow from your heart. You deserve it, you are worthy of all that brightness and positivity, and you are filled with the Love and Joy with which you were born.
Challenge your self to change your basic beliefs about your self being less-than, worthless, or bad. Those are the beliefs and statements of others – they are not your beliefs, so they do not need to be maintained by you any longer. Find your Light beneath the layers of other people’s opinions and beliefs dumped on you. We will learn how to replace old negative tapes and beliefs in the next podcast.
Let’s first find the Love and Joy we were given at birth:
What does it take to have Love and Joy? Let’s see.
Pretend there is a 5-year-old girl standing next to me as I sit here talking. Would you tell that 5-year-old girl that she doesn’t deserve to be happy? Would you tell her that she’s bad and not worth loving? Tough luck, kid, you were just born at the wrong time. It’s a bad world out there and you’re never going to make it. Of course not, she’s only 5 years old – she deserves to be happy and loved, to be given the opportunity to live a life filled with love, joy, and happiness.
Well, I did tell a 5-year-old girl that she was bad and wasn’t worth loving, for many years – too many years. That 5-year-old girl is my internal Little Kid, or Inner Child. Due to childhood abuse, I believed I was bad and was being punished. Many times, every day, I would tell my Little Kid that she didn’t deserve to be happy – she was bad and was being punished for the rest of her life.
Every one of us has a Little Kid inside, who just wants to be loved and happy. What we tell ourselves is what we tell our 3-5-year-old Inner Child. Let’s stop telling ourselves that we are bad. Is that hard to do? Well, let’s start with telling our Little Kid.
Loving the Inner Child – Visualization
Close your eyes. … Take some slow, deep breaths. …
Imagine your 3, 4, or 5-year-old Little Kid sitting on your lap. …
See how small and innocent the Little Kid is. …
Your Little Kid is looking up at you, eagerly waiting to hear that she/he is loved. …
Tell your Little Kid – honestly – that you love her/him. …
Tell your Little Kid that she/he deserves to be happy. …
Tell your Little Kid that she/he is loveable. …
See your Little Kid smile, giggle, and laugh. …
Hug your Little Kid. …
Feel the warmth and joy streaming from your Little Kid and soaking into you. …
You are feeling warm, and joy is flowing into you. …
You now understand that you, too, are loved and you, too, deserve to be happy. …
Feel it, accept it, believe it, and then know that it is true. …
Feel the release of tension in your body. …
Feel the joy of knowing that you really do deserve to be happy. …
Feel that deep warmth of knowing that you are loved. …
Breathe deeply in the love and joy …
Open your eyes.
How was that? Did you get into it? Or did you hold yourself back? Were you able to express your love of your Inner Child? You would not have been able to show and express your love of your Little Kid if you didn’t already have love within you.
Each of us has a different way of obtaining and expressing happiness and love. Find your way – not from a book, teacher, parent, authority figure, or me – find it within yourself. What gives you happiness? What do you love? If you have chosen patterns of actions or reactions in the past that no longer serve you, release those patterns, and choose differently now. Hundreds of times each day, you are given choices between something you want and something you don’t want. Once you know what YOU want, not what someone else wants for you, you can consciously and consistently choose the action or reaction that is aligned with what you want. Then you start living your own life on your own terms.
Self-love is the unconditional feeling of love about yourself no matter what. It is your acceptance of your deeper self. Acknowledge the gifts of love and joy within you and allow those gifts to fill the empty space within you where you had once thought you would never be loved. You are loved and have been loved from the day you were born. You may have forgotten love and joy were in you, after being repeatedly told of other people’s opinions about you – as a refection of how other people think about themselves. You can rediscover your love and joy, by starting with loving your Inner Child and receiving her/his love returned to you magnified many times over.
Love and joy may be the first of the gifts you uncover, or it may be the last. In the next podcast we will learn how to uncover our other gifts: the positive self-attributes we had buried under the mountain of other people’s opinions about us and the world.
“There is nothing that you have to get, do, or be to be happy.” Srikumar Rao, MBA Professor
This podcast series is an introduction to tools you can use to lift yourself up to a brighter, happier you. Even if some of the tools don’t resonate with you, you are provided with a groundwork from which you can build your own tools and strategies. An annotated bibliography will be included for your further study and enlightenment.
Each podcast includes one or more new tools for your awareness, activities for you to practice, and a summary of the major points. If you would like to be put on an email list to receive an email containing the tools, activities, and summary of each podcast in a printed document, please let me know at Jo@Jo-Calk.com. I will never sell, trade, barter, give, or share your email information with anyone, and I will only use your email to provide notes and information about this Living a Dream: A Transformational Journey podcast series. I will never spam you – I don’t like to be spammed, so I don’t do it to others. You may remove your name from this email list at any time by, either replying “Unsubscribe” to one of my emails or contacting me at Jo@Jo-Calk.com.
Let’s look at this week’s tools:
- Be open to the possibility that your life can change and improve in ways unimaginable now.
- You were born filled with Love, Joy, and positive self-attributes.
- You have a 3-5-year-old Inner Child who needs your love and happiness – and reciprocates that love and happiness back to you increased many times over
- You have, within you, everything you need to be happy and to live a life of joy.
- Your happiness is within you.
- Wherever you go, you take your self with you
- You get what you focus on.
- “You Must Be the Change You Want to See in the World.” – Mahatma Gandhi
- “There is nothing that you have to get, do, or be to be happy.” Srikumar Rao
- Repeat the “Loving the Inner Child Visualization” until you can truly visualize your Inner Child, truly feel the love for your Inner Child, and feel the warmth of that expression of love reflected back on you from your Inner Child.
- Journal every day, for at least a week, about your self and the changes within your self. Write down your self-talk, whether it has changed or whether the old negative tapes are drowning out the sound of the bright self-attributes. Write about your love, joy, and happiness with which you were born. Continue to replace old negative tapes with new positive affirmations and celebrations of your long-buried gifts of positive self-attributes, Love, and Joy.
- “There is nothing that you have to get, do, or be to be happy.” Srikumar Rao
- Your love, joy, and happiness are within you – you need not search for it elsewhere
- Wherever you go, you take your self with you
- Loving the Inner Child Visualization
Please visit my website: https://jo-calk.com/
If you have a specific question or comment, please contact me at: Jo@Jo-Calk.com
I look forward to hearing from you.
Our next podcast delves deeper into the topic of our Self. We will learn how to rewrite our old negative tapes, recognize our self-worth, and honor and assert our self.
I hope you will join me here next Tuesday, at 4:00 p.m. (Pacific US Time) / 7:00 p.m. (Eastern US Time).
This is Jo Calk signing off:
Blessings to all of us dreamers on our Transformational Journey.
ALL TEXT IS COPYRIGHT (c) 2019, by Jo Calk